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    April 22

    沉淀

    凡事讲究沉淀,一天的繁忙工作后稍微沉淀了一下,郁闷的心情难以挥去,也许自己看重的东西真的不是别人看重的,当然,其他人看重的,也不是我看重的,所以以后还是不要将自己所想强加于别人身上,多点沟通,这样子似乎能够让事情简单很多。很久没有动过真怒了,也许是平时其他琐碎的点点滴滴怨气,不甘积累后要爆发一次吧,毕竟生活上总是会有不顺心的事情,只能让心情尽量宽松一点吧。心里面似乎真的不太甘愿啊,生活还要继续,人生总有不顺时,或者也只有坚持这一条路。

    话说回来,如果有机会有可能,我绝对不会再受这样的窝囊气,真是很不男人,越来越想回中国了,或者回到中国也会有这样的那样的不顺心事情,但是在一个自己熟悉的地方生活似乎远比在一个连半个朋友都没有的地方面壁思过来得好。有时候并不是一定要向朋友吐苦水,但是在社会里面生存,如果时常能有朋友说上一两句知心话,未必要是苦水,也许短短一两条短讯,也许一通短短的电话,只要知道这个城市里面还有一两个朋友在,维持住自己心里面的那个生活社区,就足够了,可惜,打开电话联系本,却连个发短讯问候有否吃饭的人都没有,最近两年来似乎这种情况已经少了很多,原因却只是因为自己都知道打开电话联系本除了看到一堆公司同事电话,就只能看到快餐下单电话了,所以尽量避免自己去打开联系本。但是间隔半年偶尔还是会有打开联系本的时候,就又会想一想自己到底有多久没有和朋友打电话问候过。甚至有时候都怀疑自己还会不会和朋友沟通的方法。答案似乎是不太会了。。。

    在英国安逸倒是很安逸,可是不顺心时也是痛苦不已,不知不觉间也在这里生活了5年多,再磨练多两三年看看吧,如果情况还是这样,我也许就会提起心肝,做出决定回国了,这样下去,人真的会发霉的,再安逸都没有用,因为整个人就已经变成石头了。最多10年时间,我应该就会从一个开朗多话有个人志向(虽然不是什么大志,但是至少还有多少个人追求)的人变成一个沉默寡言自闭,身上带着一阵老人味而且只剩下每日小赌的准中年男人,这让我想起一个人,很心寒,我发誓我不要变成那种人,决不要。

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